After days of preparation and coordination, the morning of the funeral is "Gametime" for the funeral director. It isn't Hollywood where the director can say "Cut" and start over. You only get one shot to get it right.
There are so many variables to manage and direct that absolute situational awareness is a must. At any given time, there are family members, pall bearers, clergy, workers and caskets to direct to the correct place at the exact time they need to be there. Getting a fifty car funeral 35 miles through unknown traffic conditions to be standing at the back of the church at exactly the time the mass is supposed to start is a task of monumental proportions, yet the vast majority of funeral directos routinely pull it off without a hitch.
I think I made my point that a funeral director needs to be intimately aware of the surroundings to be successful. That being said, this example of complete and utter lack of situational awareness I witnessed and am about to share should astonish you.
I was sitting in a church on a beautiful Saturday morning about to witness one of my dearest friends marry his girlfriend of fourteen years. It was ten minutes before the ceremony. People were being escorted down to their seats. The Best Man was taking his place at the alter with the Groom about to appear. Anyone over the age of seven born on this planet would have known a wedding was about to commence.
That is, everyone but, I'm embarrased to say, a funeral director. At first, I was too stunned to comprehend the situation. I thought to myself, "That's odd, why would a florest bring the flowers ten minutes before a wedding starts." Besides, there are already flowers on the alter, and this piece the guy is placing RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE ALTER doesn't match the rest. What I didn't know at the time was that this particular floral arrangement had a ribbon placed neatly on the front that bore the words "Father/Uncle". The music soon started and I thought nothing of the flowers until after the mass.
After the beautiful and emotional ceremony, as I made my way out of the church, I noticed a funeral director I know standing in the vestibule right next to the guy who placed the flowers RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE ALTER ten minutes before the wedding started. Evidently, someone's Father/Uncle was about to be buried from this church in about thirty minutes. The guy was just doing what he was told, and didn't realize the wedding was first. I guess the two photographers flashing cameras, five groomsmen in tuxedos and several hundred people were not enough of a clue. For all I know, that might be standard for funerals in that part of the state.
I've often heard the cliche that, for the groom, the wedding ceremony is essentially his funeral. I guess this particular director took the joke literally.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
It's Not My Grandfather's Profession Any More
Modern technology has infiltrated into all aspects of our lives. There is no escaping it. I know that my grandfather, who died in 1974, would not have dreamed of even this computer I am using to write this article.
I've been around funeral service for most of my life, and have been a funeral director for a little over thirteen years. Consequently, I've witnessed the changes. From the cookie cutter funerals of twenty years ago, to the streaming online videos of the services today, the profession has come a long way.
Although I am not a true believer that all of the technology currently being utilized by funeral professionals is legitimate, it was in fact a technological innovation that finally brought me into my family's business.
Cell phones.
Growing up, I remember my grandmother and grandfather always having to be by the phone. I guess even back then, people didn't limit their dying to normal business hours. I could not imagine having to live my life like that. As a result, funeral director was never a thought for me, so I joined the Air Force.
When cell phones came around in the early nineties, I finally reconsidered and came home. I have not been disappointed. As anyone who relies on cellular communications to make their living will tell you, they are a blessing as well as a curse. The same could be said for most of these new innovations.
Another miracle of technology that actually saved me from extreme embarrassment is Google Maps. A month or so ago, I had a funeral at a church in Taunton, MA, which is about thirty miles away. Just as my grandfather would have done with an unfamiliar church, I took a ride by and devised my plan for getting cars in and out. Easy, right?
The morning of the funeral, I discovered that the St. Andrew the Apostle Church I scouted out had consolidated with another church at a different location. Seeing that the people at the church didn't give me that little tidbit of information when I arranged the mass, and we had to leave the funeral home in about twenty minutes, I turned to Google Maps.
Crisis averted. Within five minutes, I had the route to drive as well as a satellite view of the church to plan the ingress and egress. Done. My grandfather would have been screwed.
Some of the new innovations are nice as enhancements to the services. Online Guest Books are helpful to receive condolences from people who live out of state. Unfortunately, they are also being used by the next door neighbor in lieu of going to the wake. Convenient, but there is no substitute for face-to-face.
Overall, I think my grandfather would have approved of some of the new technologies such as Life Tribute Videos as well as some of the personalization options available. Even so, I can picture him telling me not to let all of these new toys get in the way of what a funeral is supposed to be. He would said, "A funeral is a time for the community to gather together to grieve the loss of one of their own, and to celebrate that life in order to help the family and friends left behind work through the pain."
Pa, I couldn't agree with you more.
I've been around funeral service for most of my life, and have been a funeral director for a little over thirteen years. Consequently, I've witnessed the changes. From the cookie cutter funerals of twenty years ago, to the streaming online videos of the services today, the profession has come a long way.
Although I am not a true believer that all of the technology currently being utilized by funeral professionals is legitimate, it was in fact a technological innovation that finally brought me into my family's business.
Cell phones.
Growing up, I remember my grandmother and grandfather always having to be by the phone. I guess even back then, people didn't limit their dying to normal business hours. I could not imagine having to live my life like that. As a result, funeral director was never a thought for me, so I joined the Air Force.
When cell phones came around in the early nineties, I finally reconsidered and came home. I have not been disappointed. As anyone who relies on cellular communications to make their living will tell you, they are a blessing as well as a curse. The same could be said for most of these new innovations.
Another miracle of technology that actually saved me from extreme embarrassment is Google Maps. A month or so ago, I had a funeral at a church in Taunton, MA, which is about thirty miles away. Just as my grandfather would have done with an unfamiliar church, I took a ride by and devised my plan for getting cars in and out. Easy, right?
The morning of the funeral, I discovered that the St. Andrew the Apostle Church I scouted out had consolidated with another church at a different location. Seeing that the people at the church didn't give me that little tidbit of information when I arranged the mass, and we had to leave the funeral home in about twenty minutes, I turned to Google Maps.
Crisis averted. Within five minutes, I had the route to drive as well as a satellite view of the church to plan the ingress and egress. Done. My grandfather would have been screwed.
Some of the new innovations are nice as enhancements to the services. Online Guest Books are helpful to receive condolences from people who live out of state. Unfortunately, they are also being used by the next door neighbor in lieu of going to the wake. Convenient, but there is no substitute for face-to-face.
Overall, I think my grandfather would have approved of some of the new technologies such as Life Tribute Videos as well as some of the personalization options available. Even so, I can picture him telling me not to let all of these new toys get in the way of what a funeral is supposed to be. He would said, "A funeral is a time for the community to gather together to grieve the loss of one of their own, and to celebrate that life in order to help the family and friends left behind work through the pain."
Pa, I couldn't agree with you more.
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