Happy Holidays

It's never a good time to lose a loved one. It's especially bad when someone close dies during the Holiday Season. The dilemma these families face during this very difficult time is whether or not they should celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas given the circumstances.

I get this question often during this time of year. Deep down, these folks know in their heart that their deceased loved one is in a better place, and that they would insist the survivors celebrate as they normally would. The problem of course is that it's hard to have a good time when your heart is ripped into pieces.

My advice is always the same. Gather the family together as you normally would and include the deceased person in the celebration. Set a place at the table where they normally would have sat. Share happy memories of past holidays you shared together. I've found through personal experience that as the years pass, this new tradition of sharing stories helps enrich the holiday experience.

I can remember the year my grandmother died. We were all very close to her, and when Thanksgiving rolled around, we were not in the mood to give thanks. Despite this fact, we got together, and it turned out well. We shared stories about past Thanksgivings. The tears and the laughter were incredible.

My favorite story is how seemingly every year, my grandmother ended up getting splattered with some sort of food item while sitting at the table. I'm not exagerating. She wore an apron because someone always spilled food in her general direction, and it never missed her. One year, I can vividly remember my father uncorking the champagne. Well, it was actually Asti Spumante which, the best I can tell, is Italian champagne. The cork sailed accross the table missing my brother's head by inches and the Asti cascaded like a fountain all over my grandmother.

Virtually every family has similar stories to tell. Although my grandmother is not sitting at the table any more, she is definitely with us every time we gather as a family. So if you're wondering whether or not to celebrate this Holiday Season, I say definitely. You'll never forget the experience, and more than likely, you'll establish a new family tradition that will make all holidays to follow even more special.