Wednesday, February 18, 2009

True Love: Luck or Destiny?

One of the great benefits of my job is getting to know, very intimately at times, the families I work with. During our discussions, I'll always ask the widow/widower how long they were married. Now, keep in mind, we're talking about a generation of people who've been through the Great Depression and World War II. People of outstanding character who know what it is to work at something and not give up when the chips are down.

It is not at all uncommon for these marriages to have lasted 50 to 60 years. Two years ago I buried a couple, who died less than a month apart, that were married for 72 years. In fact, at the time, they were the longest living couple on record.

My favorite follow-up question is: "How did you meet? The answers I get are amazing for two reasons. First, the instantaneous glow that emanates from them as they recall the memory of their first date, or how they met, is so obvious to everyone in the room that it's palpable. For a brief time, tears of grief are transformed into tears of joy. At that moment, the healing process has begun. It's truly beautiful to see. Second, and this is equally as interesting, is that more often than one might think, the initial meeting was completely by chance. A common response is: "Oh, my friend dragged me to a USO dance I really didn't want to go to. We fell in love as soon as we saw each other and were married six months later." The frequency of these occurrences is such that I do not believe them to be coincidence.

Fifty or sixty years later, that chance meeting has left a legacy of five children, seventeen grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. Amazing!

The question remains. Is true love luck or destiny? From where I'm sitting as an observer of countless lives lived, I have to say it's a little of both. Destiny is a funny thing. Not all of us are destined to find true love. For those who do, luck almost certainly has a hand in it.

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